REALITY
CHECK
"Killing Your Darlings":
Letting Go of What Doesn't Work
Many aspiring writers often feel that they're walking a very tricky high wire. On the one hand, their passion and commitment keep them going through the tough and lonely times of writing and the sometimes discouraging process of trying to get published. On the other hand, that passion and commitment can also create blind spots and denial. For newcomers who have not learned the realities of the market and the publishing game, it's hard to tell where to draw the line between writerly vision and selling out. It's possible to believe so strongly in your work and why you wrote it that you refuse to hear constructive feedback, especially feedback geared to market realities.
Consider Feedback Seriously
The key to preserving your vision while also paying attention to reality is to consciously step back and take stock of whatever feedback you've received. If ten agents tell you that the market for your book is too small, chances are that's probably true. It doesn't mean you shouldn’t write your book, but it does indicate that your book is not going to work for large mega-publishers. These companies are increasingly looking only at what they consider are projects with considerable potential (upwards of 25,000 copies in the first year of sales). Maybe you can sell it on your own to a smaller publisher, or publish it yourself as a book or online, and concentrate on making it a gangbuster that will lead to other books in the future.
If you keep pitching an idea or a feature, and it keeps being met by blank stares or polite but enthusiastic comments like "That’s interesting," perhaps your topic is more important to you than it will be to a general audience. (You can’t assume that everyone is so dense that they "don't get it." Maybe you're the one who's not quite getting it.) Don't give up and fade into the night. Ask yourself whether you need to write the book for your own reasons — without thought of getting it published — or seek out alternative ways of seeing it come to fruition (for example, self-publishing or posting it on one of the many websites that allow authors to put their works online).
Consider the Source
When you do get feedback, consider the source. Is this a publishing pro (an agent, editor, or respected writer)? Your typical reader — the one you really want to please? A friend you can trust to be critical yet supportive? A friend who hates conflict and so might not tell you if there was anything she didn’t like in the manuscript? Someone who never reads the kind of book you’re writing? Pay the most attention to those people who have the expertise and the savvy to make well-informed critical judgments. Filter their comments through your own vision and purpose. But if you see a consistent theme, pay attention.
Look at Your Attachments
Watch out, too, for attachment — our natural human tendency to hang on to all kinds of things because of our desires, our assumptions and expectations, or our need for security. Buddhists counsel us to get rid of all attachments, which is a tall order. Some attachments are working for you — your passion, your writing ability, your empathy for your audience. Looking at them closely will allow you to harness them better. Those attachments that don’t serve you need particular scrutiny — are they really so important that you would allow them to sabotage your chances for success? Is this really a case of vision, or simply a matter of hanging on to something you love just because you love it?
For example, suppose that your name has a sort of twist to it — John Neat, for example. You're a consultant who is writing a book about time management, and you want to use your name in the title. After all, you've lived with this name your whole life, sometimes enduring unpleasant teasing or smirking remarks. Now, you think, "I'll finally get to capitalize on it with this book!" You decide to use the subtitle "The Neat System for Getting Things Done."
You sign up for a big writers conference and pitch the idea and the title to several agents and editors. Some of them like the idea of the book, but they seem to glaze over on the "Neat System" idea. One of them suggests that maybe, since you're not a nationally known figure, the "Neat System" may seem kind of obscure. You're determined, however, that your title is definitely an advantage, that it makes your book distinctive in a crowded time management book market. The fact that no one seems to agree sends you on a search to figure out how to pitch it more effectively.
You don't stop to question whether you should let it go until one agent suggests that maybe the "Neat System" isn't serving you, that in fact it may be clouding people's response to your book and ideas. This is a perfect example of an attachment that probably isn't serving the writer. The choice is between listening to what these representatives of the book's audience are saying and letting it go, or continuing to push to make it work.
Let Go of What Is Not Serving You
What attachments are you hanging on to that may not be serving you? Have you gotten feedback that you've refused to listen to? Why? Let go of what's not working as soon as you see it. Look at how you can continue to do work that still matters deeply to you, but in a way that engages your audience and makes their eyes light up when they hear about it.
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